I walked into the laundry room this morning with a Walmart bag of Jesse’s sweat drenched, vomit covered clothing to give them a thorough washing. I remember seeing a ragged edge on his shirt when I scooped it from the hospital floor last night and shoved it into the crinkly plastic. As I pulled the... Continue Reading →
For those of you who follow our story on social media, the next few blog posts will be things you have likely already seen on facebook or instagram. I realize that many of you only follow our story through this blog, though, and want to give everyone the most up-to-date information on Jesse. I... Continue Reading →
Three times…more than that…I pleaded with the Lord, “Take this from us. Heal him, God. What good is he to your kingdom, dead? What love is this, making children fatherless?” And He answered with a tiny flower growing out of thorns in the middle of my wilderness as I watched a dying father guide his children down a steep path. "My grace is sufficient-enough-abundant, for you.”
No one can really know what a life is like unless they are living it. I try to convey hard moments in this writing place, attempt to communicate facets of all of this with clarity and truth and a kind of vulnerability I am resistant in nature to display. Christ’s work in me, these words... Continue Reading →
It’s been a good long while since we’ve sat peacefully in the living room after Jesse’s 8pm seizure meds, everyone laughing together, talking in the way people who are comfortable with one another do on a cool fall evening. It feels peculiar and delightful, like when you get a surprise package in the mail from... Continue Reading →
I opened the door, took a step in, and the weight of it all pressed the breath from my lungs. Maybe it was because it's September, a month that represents the beginning of an always shape-shifting life, or maybe it was because my connecting flight left without me and I had been awake for 27... Continue Reading →
Jesse asked me how I slept, so I told him: “I had the most awful dream. It was one of those terribly real ones full of nothing out of the ordinary, until the moment at which you were suddenly very ill with brain cancer. Like I always do when a bad dream happens, I forced... Continue Reading →
I'll make this brief-ish because this has been the Monday of all Mondays, and we are in desperate need of a good meal and a long sleep. We learned on Friday that insurance had denied Jesse's surgery. We began the fight with them then, which has continued onward today. It's complex (and actually pretty boring),... Continue Reading →
One of my most fervent prayers through all of this brain cancer madness has been pretty simple. “Let me be singing, Lord. No matter what comes, just let me be singing.” This is probably odd to most people, especially if you didn’t grow up with a never ending flow of humming and tapping and rhythm... Continue Reading →
I was getting ready to post the above photo on Instagram, citing our third born’s quirky attachment to his shoes long after the soles have worn through so much that his feet touch the ground as he walks. But the more I stared at the photo, the more his dirty toes sticking out from tattered... Continue Reading →
Every Little Jot & Tittle 