We spent a few hours at the zoo yesterday, walking around in the sunshine, looking at animals, watching the kids run around all over the place. It was a beautiful day, but it was a hard one too. At some point, I had the startling realization that I was “that” person. . .the one you see in public sometimes who looks distinctly lost with hollowed out eyes that are looking out into some other world. . .that was me yesterday. It’s like I no longer belong in the outside world. I belong here. In this hotel attached to this hospital. With my husband. Who has a brain tumor. I’m the wife of a sick man. Encountering people is now weighty. Those simple questions we all ask one another when we’re out and about, that flippant “How are you?”. . .I don’t even know how to answer that question anymore. Because I’m okay, I really am. . .but I’m also not okay.
We rode the carousel with the kids yesterday. They let us go around twice because of our “circumstances”. We were riding around and around and around; and I kept thinking about how at home I felt in that moment, spinning rapidly along in a circle, the world moving steadily around us. It’s the only time in the entire day anything felt right to me. We’re riding a carousel in the middle of a lazy day at the zoo every day of our lives right now. We’re living a different life than we were before. As a family, we fall into a category that most do not. Our kids no longer just have a dad, they have a sick dad. And we don’t even know the depths of what that means yet.
BUT, I trust so deeply that this is the path the Lord has for us. We trust Him. He is working in astounding ways through this situation already. People are crying out to Him and drawing near to Him as they walk this path with us. We’re shaking our heads and laughing that laugh that comes when things are astoundingly absurd in a good way. I am so, so, so grateful that He chose us for this. We’ve been asking God for healing since this began. You’ve been asking God for healing, too. Friends, He is being faithful to answer that request. Keep telling of His goodness and provision in your lives. Tell it to each other. Tell it to us. Tell it to the broken souls beside you. God is healing people through this. He is revealing Himself as the Healer of healers to us and to you, just as we’ve been asking of Him. God be praised, He is on the move!
-We have a pre-op appointment scheduled for tomorrow at 8:30am, and a Speech Therapist appointment at 1pm.
-We don’t have a surgery time yet, but I will post that when it comes available to us. We’ll be asking for some specific prayer when that time comes as well.
-We’ve secured a room at the Rotary House until after surgery. This is a huge answer to prayer! The Rotary House is connected to the hospital and makes it so much easier for us to get Jesse care should he need it.
-We’re still praying for miraculous healing that can speak only of the works of His hands. Pray that with us, will you?